JON HER

"I'm just saying the relationship needs to grow between you two whether as friends or something more. That's the something that has to happen. You're just in that awkward stage where nothing is really happening as friends."

Your Pain

I was selfish.
I didn't know how much you were in pain.
I refused to understand.
I didn't care how much I was making things difficult.
I didn't know! I didn't understand! I didn't care!
I saw your wounds. Wide and deep.
And for some reason I didn't care.
I was selfish
I didn't know your pain.

I was selfish
I am sorry if I forced my feelings on you
When all you really needed was a friend.
And what an awful friend I was.
I will never know how much it hurt.
And I will never fully understand.
But now, I get it!
I see your pain. I see the scars. I see the tears
And I know! I understand! I care!
I was selfish
I didn't know your pain.

Talisha Vernon

Life

"It's better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all" - Alfred Lord Tennyson.
You know what, I think that is a complete lie.
"It's better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all," really???? WHAT???
I mean, this is how I see it. I see it as a huge waste of time.
It's like this, You are driving down the highway, listening to some amazing music,
happier then you can be going to California to see the huge amazing "Hollywood" sign.
You can't wait every sec you drive you just get more and more excited and happier and giddier. While you are driving, you see at ugly small sign for the museum of rocks.
Yeah, just plain rocks like the ones you find on the side of the road.
For so reason, you take the next exit towards the museum of rock.
You drive down a little dirt road and at the end there is a tiny shack.
On the front of the shack it says, "THE GRAND ROCK MUSEUM."
You laugh at the little building and decide to get back in you car and be on your way.
But while walking to your car you see a plaque about the museum outside.
So you decide to read it. "Why, that's interesting."
Then you see another plaque, "Oh, it was built so long ago...cool."
And then another plaque, "No way!! A rock that George Washington stood on."
Slowly you fall in love with this building, you can wait to see all the rocks inside.
You want to talk with the owner and and see if you could work there,
stay there for a year or two, live there.
You want to really get to know each rock and study it learn about each rock.
Oh boy, you are so excited. So march right up the the front door all happy.
Way happier then you were just listening music in the car on your way to the "Hollywood" sign.
As you approach the door, you notice a sign on the door that reads, "Out of business" or
"No more visitors" or "Sold to the museum of leafs" or
something that hinders you from going inside and seeing the many rocks.
And you know what? This really sucks. You put yourself out there for this museum.
You fell in love with this museum...and now it's closed! Really????
Well, I mean, all you can do is just get back in your car. "Oh, yeah, I was on my way to the "Hollywood" sign." But when you get back on the road you look at the clock in the car and realized that you were outside of the museum for 3 hours. You wasted 3 hours on nothing.
And all you got in return was a broken heart, sadness, and
3 hour farther then where you would have been if you would have just stayed on the main road.
So, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all,"
Alfred Lord Tennyson I think you are full of crap.
You don't know what yopu are talking about. The 1800's was a different time.
Now, I say, "It's better to have never loved.
Then to love and get you heart ripped out like it some rotten piece of meat." - Talisha Vernon.

I need to feel you now

3am and I am still awake. I can't go asleep because in my dream all I see is you. Why won't you stop running through my head? And there are so many memerizes I just can't forget. I just want to hold you and show you how I truely feel. But I can't right now. I know I'm alone now, but I can stil feel you beside me in my bed. I know I'm alone but it's okay. I swear I'll go on with life with a smile. I'll wait for you. I'll leave the pouch light on. I hope it helps you to find your way.

4am and I am still awake. I'm writing down my thoughts I can't go to sleep now. I need your love now. I need to feel you now. To just see you. Oh, to just see you. I want to talk to you. To just hear you speak. I don't understand my feelings but whatever they are, I want to share them with you. I can't go to sleep now. The suns going to shine soon and I still haven't written everything down.

-Talisha Vernon

In Between

In Between

In between growing up and standing still.
I am learning how to love and how to be loved.
My hands gently touching your face
As you close you eyes and lean in for a kiss.
I wake up, wishing you could kiss me.

In between theatre and lunch.
I am learning how to love and how to be loved.
My hands sweat as I open the classroom door
I walk by you; do you know who I am?
I am not asleep, why can’t you just kiss me?

In between awkward and knowing who I am.
I am learning how to love and how to be loved.
My hands type away on the computer
I’m on your page looking at your pictures.
I am alone, will you ever kiss me?

In between reality and ego.
I am learning how to love and how to be loved.
My hands shake as you walk towards me
You start talking to me and we exchange numbers
Oh my God, are you going to kiss me?

In between dinner and a movie.
I am learning how to love and how to be loved.
My hands are clinched in my lap.
We are sitting on a bench in the mall
You puts your hand around me, are you going to kiss me?

In between mattress and sheets.
I am learning how to love and how to be loved.
My hands and your hands touch under the sheets
You tell me that you love me and everything will be fine
We have sex but you never kissed me.

In between Hall A and Hall C.
I am learning how to love and how to be loved.
My hands go up in the air as you walk towards me
You look pass me and keeps on walking by.
All I wanted was for you to kiss me.

Talisha Vernon

So Long

SO LONG

I wonder sometimes if we will ever go to the next level
Maybe not...maybe so...but I'm thinking not!
I mean I'm just wondering...Do I have to do everything.
Oh my God, you're so slow!!! Why are guys so slow?
But I just that's why I...never mind
Everyone knows my fillings for you but not you!
Whatever!
It's all fun and games...right?
It's just you, nothing special...right?
It's just high school...right?
It all doesn't matter!
It's all fair in love and war!
We don't really matter to one another.
We just happen to be in the same place at the same time.
And I guess one of us fall in love and the other one...
Well, he didn't!
Like I said, we don't really matter to one another...right?
We're a bunch of teens...trying to got thought life
And no one really matters to us.
Right?
I keep on saying that to myself!
"You didn't really matter to me!"
"You’re just a guy...a stupid stupid guy!"
But I was the stupid one.
I was the one who didn't know.
I didn't know that I can't make you love me.
And I'm so stupid! So Stupid!
Everyone knew that you didn't love me.
I don't know why it took this long for me to figure it out.


Talisha Vernon

I don't know

I don't know.

I don't know what to feel anymore about you and me.
I don't know what to think when you hold me tight.
What is this?
Am I in love?
What is this?
Why can't I figure out this feeling?
I never had this happen to me before.

I don't know what to feel anymore about what others say.
I don't know what to think when the say we should be together.
What is this?
Am I confused?
What is this?
Why can't people just let us be?
I never dealed with this before.

I don't know what to feel anymore when you tell me you love me.
I don't know what to think when I say "I love you " back.
What is this?
Am I just faking?
What is this?
Why can't this be simple?
I never had to handle this before.

Talisha Vernon.

To Me

To Me

One of the worst feeling in the world is when you finally, after so long, you find out [relies] that, that guy never loved you. It feels like for the past few months of my life has been the pointless months of my life. That it was all a waste of time, of love, of me. Looking back at it now, it seems like I wasn't there. I can see myself, but I wasn't there...inside my body. Its like I was hovering over everything, trying to tell myself how stupid I was. It hurts...really it is painful. And then to put pales of salt on my wide wide open wound, I see this girl, your girl, every fucking day. It is so painful, I just want to puke at the sight of you. But of course, I must forget about the fact that I wasted parts of my life on you. I must forget you too, you bastard! I say over and over again to myself "You are nothing to me". Maybe, hopefully after a few more times, you won't be anything to me. I just want to puke. Fuck you and fuck her too.

That Feeling

That Feeling

Have you ever had that feeling?

The worst feeling a human can have.

The questions that runs thoughts your head.

Just back and forth asking questions,

"Am I in love?"

"Is this love?"

"Do I love?"

These are the worst feeling a human can have.

Why can't love, this simple four letter word,

Be so plan and simple?

Why does it have to be hard, painful,

heart-breaking, deadly?

Have you ever had that feeling?

I mean deep in your soul.

And didn't you just wanna rip it out

and never love...wouldn't that be easier

Not to love?

Not to have that feeling?

That would be nice...not to love

But that wouldn't,couldn't happen.

But it sure would be nice.

Mr. Love

Mr. Love

In my dream, I can see your face,
Your eyes, your smile.
Even when I close my eyes I think of you,
And I pray that one day I can call you mine.
As I cry here in this room of solitude
I can hear your voice telling me its ok.
But when I look to see if youre really there,
You're not!

I go crazy sometimes
Thinking about you and knowing
Im never going to be with you!
But hoping for some miracle,
Some miracle to tell me its ok for us to be together!
But until that day,
You will always be my Mr. Love!

When I look at you from across the room
I wish I could be right beside you, holding your hand.
As you glance around the room and notice that Im staring at you,
I quietly look away.
But wishing I could look back,
Into your big gorgeous brown eyes!

I go crazy all the time
When I see couples walking hand and hand,
And I say to myself
That will never be us.
But hoping that you would love me,
Love me the same way that I have always!
But until that day,
You will always be my Mr. Love!

I sit here wiping my tears
So I can get up and
Finish out my years without you
Wondering, what kind of life would that be?
Miserable or Terrible
Disgusting or Depressing?
Or maybe it would be better without
Your smile of sunshine
And your eyes of contentment

I even go crazy when
I think that it would be awful for me to be with you!
That I dont need you to be happy
And that I should just move on.
But I tried to move on
And I didnt get any enjoyment or bliss from it
But until the day, I fix the mess inside my head,
You will always be my Mr. Love!


-Talisha Vernon